44 posts tagged “update”
I feel so bad that I haven't posted in so long! What can I say? I think about posting all the time and then I just get overwhelmed and I don't do it. Things are going just fine lately and yet, I'm feeling a little blue. I think there are two things going on. 1. I'm so tired of the cold. We need spring badly here. I mean, anything over 30, is that too much to ask for? The winter wears on and we all get more and more sick of staying inside and breathing the stale indoor air. I need a trip to Florida, right? 2. I think I'm starting to put on some weight. I know that I had some room to spare but my gut is starting to make a reappearance. I don't want to worry too much about eating right now since I'm still nursing Harper. I notice that if I cut back on my calorie intake, I don't produce as much and I don't want my supply tanking now! What I really need to do is get back to exercising. But where, may I ask, does that fit in? I hear about these people who work, write, raise kids, cook wonderful meals, clean their houses, and sew all their clothes and I just wonder how in the hell they do it? I can barely even get lunch made! I keep telling myself that once the weather warms up and I'm off work again, Harper and I can get out every day for some exercise. Until then, I'd better cut down on the sweets. They are my downfall!
On to happier notes. Harper is cute and funny and I want to bottle her and put her in my pocket. She has been doing the "patty" part of patty cake for a while now but this week she has figured out how to "roll it." Well, at least her version of rolling it! She basically switches her hands back and forth over each other but man, is it adorable. I need to try to get that on video. She will also respond now if you ask her for a kiss. After you ask she will lean out to you and pucker her lips up. It's kind of a move that says, "I will allow you to kiss me now." I find myself asking for kisses all the time because I'm so amused by it! Separation anxiety is also starting to settle in a bit more. Now when she sees me putting on my jacket she starts to cry. When I say "bye bye" it gets even worse. Usually she is ok if I am leaving her with Brad but, this morning, she even pouted a bit when I left her with him. Oh, and she's all over the place and into everything and tantrums when I won't give her what she wants. Ahhh, the joys of growing up and realizing you can't have it all! Funny thing is, I'm still not sure I've completely learned that lesson.
Ok, here are a couple of videos to enjoy. One is just the standard "so big" video and the other is just of her being "busy." There is no other way to describe it. The girl is just busy. Unfortunately, in that one you don't get to see her face too much. I have a hard time getting her on video because once she sees it's on her, she clams up and just stares at the lens! So, I have to try to be covert and crappy shots are what I wind up with. Oh well. Enjoy!
All of a sudden it seems like Harper is quickly moving from baby stage to person/toddler stage. Of course, I'm mourning the loss of my baby but it is also so much fun to watch her explore her world. And explore she does! She is now crawling all over the place, pulling up on everything, and cruising from place to place. Sometimes she'll take both hands off of whatever she is holding on to, look at me, I see the terrified look in her eyes, and then she quick grabs whatever it was she was bracing herself on. She is also much more in to actual walking using Brad's and my hands. Her steps are these really gigantic steps but she just looks so damn pleased with herself when she's walking around with us. I know, it's only a matter of time.....but, I'm still hoping she doesn't start walking until after she turns 1!
Sleeping is still somewhat of an issue, for me mostly. I have such terrible insomnia that when Harper stirs or cries out, I wake up and can't get back to sleep. Lately she's been waking up three times in the night! I know that sounds bad but the first two times are for like 5 minutes and she cries or fusses a bit and then just settles back down. Around 5 she gets up and I nurse her and then she normally goes back down until between 7:30-8. Problem is, after each of those wake-ups it takes me a good 45 minutes to get back to sleep. So, I'm tired. And, as a result, somewhat cranky. I seriously cannot imagine the day when I lie down to bed, go to sleep, and don't wake up until 7-8 hours later. Oh glory! I don't mind the early morning feeding but I do wonder when we'll cut that out. She is only nursing 4 times during the day (every 4 hours about) so I figure keeping that last one in there is ok for now.
Other things that are happening include multiple games of patty cake, peek-a-boo, and so big over the course of the day. She can now do them on command unless, it seems, we are around a bunch of people and then she just stares at them. I've also got her eating pretty much everything at this point. Last week her 4 top teeth really started to descend so she's been liking the really pureed stuff a little better right now. One of the top ones is now actually protruding through her gums and I think that has helped in the eating arena as she gobbled up quite a bit of food last night. She is going to look so darn grown up when those teeth come in!!
I also finally splurged and got her a really nice carseat for once she's out of the infant seat. It rear faces up to 35 pounds so I'm really happy about that. Of course, I can't afford to splurge and buy the same type for all three cars she will likely be riding in so I'll have to look at the old consumer reports to find something a little cheaper but something that's also safe and rear faces for a long period of time. Dandy, can I please request that you think about RFing your little one longer than a year? I try not to give you lots of advice or make lots of recommendations but that one is an important one to me!!
We are currently in the process of looking for a new car for me. It's a pain in the ass! Why are cars so much money? I still expect to get something really nice (used) for like 8k. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! The Outback would be nice....too much $$. I am also entertaining a CR-V or a RAV 4. Of course, I really want a Lexus 300 series but that ain't never gonna happen.
Well, Miss Harper has officially been out in the world for as long as she was inside of me. I think that's a milestone, not sure why but it just seems like it is. She's actually 9 months and a week and I'm sure 10 months will sneak up on me just as quickly as all the rest have. We all went to her 9 month appointment last week and it appears she is doing well. I thought for sure she would be at least 20lbs but on their scale there she was 19lbs on the nose. Her head size is normal and she's 28 1/2" tall. The doc was impressed with her vocalizations and her overall intensity. Yeah, tell me about it dude. I am, though, worried. We have a referral to have her see a pediatric dermatologist up at Children's Hospital in Milwaukee. We both started noticing these brownish little spots in random places on her back. Then there was one on her wrist and a few on her head. I am totally freaked about it. I am terrified that my one and only child is somehow filled with something horrible that I can't see. I can barely even think about it or type it here. So, that's all I'm going to say for now. We have an appointment on Feb 17th. Of course, there were no appointments before then. Figures. My mom keeps telling me that she is obviously doing well. She's eating, she's pooping (Lord is she!), she's peeing, she's nursing, she's happy, she sleeps, she plays. All good stuff. So, I'm just trying to concentrate on that. The ped. had a few thoughts about what it might be and thought it looked like an auto-immune thing where your mast cells produce too much histamine. He said many children outgrow it as they age. Ok, now I'm really going to stop talking about it. I am just terrified it's cancer. There, I said it. Now, moving on.
It is about damn time but Harper can finally go from a prone position to sitting up all on her own. She just never could before. She was happy sitting, could lie down, but then couldn't get back up on her own to sitting. All of a sudden, she just figured it out. Now she just gets up on all fours, kicks a leg out to the side, and uses those arms/hands to push herself up. That makes things a lot easier because she doesn't get pissed when she's tired of lying down. She appears quite proud of herself too. She still loves to stand but she really loves being up on her tippy toes. When I make her stand flat footed she gets all pissed off and screams at me. She can do it flat footed fine but she just wants to be up up up!
She is also turning into an eating machine. All of a sudden she is loving the food. I'm running out of ideas and feel bad when she's back to applesauce and squash. I have a great little book of blender recipes but I seriously don't have the time to make anything. I can only get maybe 20 minutes out of her being in the pack n play in the kitchen with me before she wants out. I can't get much made in 20 minutes!
Well, I was going to write more but it's about time for me to start packing up here at work. I'm terribly tired today as H didn't have a very good night last night; she was up at 1am screaming. The only way to calm her when that happens is to nurse so I was up then nursing and then up at 5 nursing again. Ah well, I know I will really miss those days when we don't have that relationship anymore!
I haven't posted since October 31st!? Geesh, where have I been? I need to be better about posting updates because I like going back over them and seeing what happened in my own life :)
So I pretty giddy today. I think it's because I've gotten NINE hours of sleep last night and the night before. That's not nine hours total, that's nine hours EACH night! Woot woot. Of course, I am now jinxing myself because every time I write about how well Harper is sleeping, it changes. I will take it for now, though. I have been doing to be at about 9:30 and last night she didn't get up until about 4:15 and then I nursed her and she (and I) went back to sleep until 7:30 this morning. Oh, it is heaven. And, she is starting to nap better too. Again, am I jinxing this!?? Yesterday, Elyse (our neighbor who came over and watched her yesterday) said she took a nap from 9:30-10:30 and then another nap from 12:30-3! This from the child who used to take half hour naps throughout the day. Anyway, it has been really nice. I am getting sleep, she is getting sleep, and we are all happier for it. Next week, I'm sure it will have changed completely.
Miss H is also loving her solid food. So far she's had sweet potatoes, winter squash, avocado, and peas. Her favorite was the avocado. Least favorite is the peas but who can blame her?? She now knows when you put her in her seat that she is going to get fed and she gets excited. It's pretty cute. I am happy that she doesn't get AS excited as when I pull out the boppy for nursing because it makes me still feel like I am the number one choice. It is a pretty funny scene when I am getting ready to nurse her. She pants. I told Brad we really need to get that on tape. Some day I will look back at it and cry and pine for "my baby" and some day she will be completed repulsed by it.
I am having to get rid of clothes left and right now, too. I think she grew an inch in the last week! Well, at least it feels like it. She is now solidly in to her 6-9mo clothes at this point. I tried to put her in a pair of smaller jeans today and they were highwaters. That's not going to work. It makes me a bit sad when I have to pack the clothes up but I just keep reminding myself that she is a happy, thriving baby and this is how it is supposed to be!
I don't have much other news to post about. Work is work. Life is life. You know. Nothing terribly exciting. It's getting colder here and really gray and rainy lately. That doesn't do much for my mood. I want summer back now! After Harper goes to bed all I want to do is put on my pjs and plunk myself in front of the TV. I am currently enjoying Rock of Love Charm School and Storm Chasers. Yes, that is a strange mix. I have decided, though, that I need to break off my deep dependency on my DVR and start reading again. So, I'm trying to get into bed about 9 and then read for about a half hour. I'm just starting Eat, Pray, Love. Anyone read it? So far it's holding my attention but her use of similes and metaphors is getting a little tiring.
Well, I need to go pump (I'm at work until 8 tonight) so I better get this posted and get to work!
...but I think that Harper's sheets have something to do with how well she sleeps. She has slept AWESOME the last two nights. Like, better than ever, I think. She's gone down about 8 (we're prepping for the time change) and then she woke up both nights about 6 (wow!), I fed her, and then she went back down until 8. How great is that? When the time changes, that will be 7-7 basically. Of course, I know better than to really think we're on a roll, but a girl can hope, right!?
You thought I lived in a city in SE Wisconsin but you were wrong. I live in Spit Up City. It's a strange place. The streets are paved with something that resembles cottage cheese and it smells kinda yucky. Everyone here changes clothes at least 3 times a day. There's random burping on the streets and you're safest if you cover yourself with a cloth diaper. I'm hoping to move soon. At least within the next 6 months.
Ugh. Harper's been spitting up SO much lately. No, it didn't coincide with feeding her solids, it started about a week or so ago. She's never been a spitter but now it's nonstop! I am wondering if she's really guzzling her milk a little too fast because sometimes she pulls away sputtering and choking a little bit. Today she spit up right in the middle of a feed and as soon as it was out (and all over my boob!) she went right back at the feed. Ewwwwww. She didn't care, though. I did some reading on Kellymom and everything I read there points to her being just fine but man, I hope she outgrows it quickly.
I also hope she outgrows her new found affinity for waking up at 5am! Ack!!! Even worse is that the time change is this weekend so pretty soon it will be 4am. Double Ack! She's also been waking up a whole lot earlier at night and wanting to nurse lately. It was 3:30 or later and now it's back to 1 or 1:30. I would like to put it off a bit but she gets really worked up and frankly, it's just easier to feed her instead of hoping that she'll settle back down and go back to sleep for a bit. The end result for me is that I just have to go to bed earlier and earlier. When she was getting up at 3 and then sleeping until 7, I could go to bed at 10 and be good. The last few days, though, I've had to go to bed about 9. I would like to stay up just a bit later so I could have some "me" time before bed but, for now, I think this is what I have to do. I just keep reminding myself that this won't last forever and there will come a time when I actually miss getting up with her in the night!
Other than that, she's doing really well. She's happy, napping a lot better (though I wonder if this has something to do with getting up so early?), and is really starting to use her voice. There is a lot of jumping, too, whenever I have her in a standing position. And, she now refuses to roll over when she's on her belly. She could roll no problem belly to back before but I've not seen her do this in a at least 2 weeks now. I wonder if it's because she's thinking about how to get herself moving? She'll lie on her belly and kind of rock back and forth with her arms and legs up in the air. Kind of like a turtle :)
Who knows!? I'm still just winging it!
I am running on empty. I have no idea what to do. I normally think of myself as a strong, willful, independently minded woman with a lot of opinions. Now, not so much. Harper's sleeping is getting out of control. Well, her lack of sleeping I should say. I can't even decide how much sleep a 5 month old should really be getting over the course of a day! I've read things that say as a little as 9.5hrs/night to something like 12hrs/night. And that doesn't even cover the naps. I keep trying to tell myself that this too shall pass, but I have a hard time believing it. We had a great two weeks and now everything has gone to pot. She's whiny. She's clingy. She wants to nurse a lot more. She won't nap well. She wakes up multiple times at night. Is this all from teething!??? Her two little bottom teeth have already broken the surface and nothing looks terribly swollen but I suppose that could be the problem? Well, that and I'm trying really hard to break the paci habit. This is part of the problem. We never have her a paci except at bedtime but now, unswaddled, she swats it out of her mouth constantly. I can't be in there 20 times putting it back in so we have to wean it. It sucks. I just wish I could tell her and have her understand that if she swats it out, it's right over there so she could put it back in if she wants it. Aaaargh!
I cannot believe that Harper is already 5 months old. For some reason 5 months seems like some sort of threshold. I can't even really tell you why. Maybe because it fills up all the fingers on one hand?
It is really amazing to me to think about all she can do now and how she acquired these skills in such a short period of time. I want to just freeze time sometimes because it all goes so quickly! There are three new things of great note to be mentioned today. First, we are doing ok without being swaddled! The first night (Friday) was pretty difficult. I put her down all day without being swaddled and her naps were for crap, but I stuck to it. That night, she was up a bunch of times. I think it's really that she was wanting her paci. Without being swaddled, every time I put the damn thing in her mouth, her hands come right up and she bats it out. So, we are weaning that too (for the most part). She only ever takes a paci at sleep time anyway so I have decided to simply offer it and then that's it. Once it's gone, it's gone. I did give her a little cloth and a little doll and she has been holding them both a little bit so I'm hoping to swap the paci for a lovey instead. The hardest part on night one was the crying that commenced at 6:30. Ugh. I went in and soothed her but I didn't pick her up or give her a paci. That went on for 45 minutes before she fell back asleep and then slept until 8:15. Last night, going down was the hard part. She fussed for about 30-40 minutes before falling asleep. I think it is especially hard on me because when swaddled, I would put her down awake, say goodnight, and leave and that would be it. She'd be asleep within 5 minutes. After she fussed last night, though, that was pretty much it! She let out one sharp squeal at about midnight but that was it until 4:30 this morning!! I woke up at 2 (normal time for feeding so I am used to that) but she wasn't awake. Then I woke up at 4 almost in a state of panic! I rushed in to her room and she was just in her crib, up on her side, sleeping away. By that time, my boobs were rock hard and I wanted to wake her up badly, but I resisted. I nursed her then at 4:30 and put her back down and she didn't wake up until I had to wake her up before I left for work so I could nurse her one last time. I know there will still be rough nights ahead, but I am really happy to think that I won't be swaddling her anymore!
The next feat is that she is sitting unsupported for 20-30 seconds at a time! And, she can reach and grab a toy and bring it to her mouth while doing this. It is pretty interesting to watch her check herself and try to balance for as long as she can. Of course, after 20-30 seconds, she topples over, but I think this is great progress for being just 5 months old.
Even better than all of this, though, is that yesterday she reached for me for the first time! I was so excited!! Lately, when I go to pick her up I do it with this exaggerated movement so she reaches back. Well, she never had until yesterday. Brad was holding her in her room and I came in and was going to take her from him, and she turned her body and reached right for me. It was such a great feeling!
No doc visit this month so I don't have specific stats but she is quickly approaching the 20lb mark. Still no solids. I'm trying to delay to the 6mo mark and, knock on wood, I think we'll make it. If my supply starts tanking with the pumping, I've got a pretty good stash in the freezer. I'm still working out a plugged duct but so far, it's not affecting my supply. At this morning's pump, I got out a good 5oz.
These are the things on my mind right now. First off, I'm going insane with a cricket infestation. Ok, it's not really an infestation but when there are a few in the house and you can't find them, you feel like you're going crazy. I know there is one behind the fridge. It keeps chirping all day and all night. It's been doing that for 2 days now. I keep wishing it would just die already because I know that can't be much for it to eat back there. And, you know me, I'm a total nature girl at heart and don't wish death upon any little creature! So, yes, it's driving me nuts. And, there's one in the hall somewhere. I almost had him but he got away. So now, I'm sitting here listening to the 2 of them and it's seriously making me go out of my mind.
I'm damn tired! What I wouldn't give for a nice 8 hour night right now. That seems like true and utter bliss and something that isn't in my future for a long, long time. Wah! I've figured out with Harper that no matter when we put her down for the night, she's up after almost exactly 5 hours. This works out pretty well when I put her to bed at 9:30 and then I go to bed at 10 because I get some good solid sleep in there before I have to get up. It doesn't work out so well, though, when I put her down at 8 because then she's up at 1 and I'm totally bleary-eyed and groggy. So, I'm not sure what to do. Putting her down around 8 at least gives me a little time to myself but then I have a crappy night. Putting her down at 9:30 gives me a better night but absolutely no time to myself in the day. And so I muddle on. Just one more thing to add to the list of things that I can't figure out/decide on!
The good news is, she's sleeping right now and has been down for almost an hour! It's a miracle as she's been taking a really crappy morning nap lately. Today Brad hauled her swing in her room and I closed all the windows and shades and put her in it swinging away and she's been sleeping ever since. This is nice because I can actually get a shower in, dry my hair, and delete 25000 work emails before she wakes up. Before she was here I used to think that I could get things done while she was napping.....hah! It's more like I can "maintain" while she naps. I still can't really get much done. Heck, it felt like a night out for me last night when I ran to Walgreens BY MY SELF to pick up infant gas drops for her (yes, they really do help her) and that trip was all of 15 minutes.
I went back to the playgroup yesterday and I was the only person there who was there last week. There were other people there but none from last week and I found that a little strange. Anyway, I chatted it up with a very young girl who was there with her almost one year old. She confided in me that she was in the hospital all last week struggling with her postpartum depression. She said it only came on her about a month ago. Yikes. That has to be terribly hard to deal with. Anyway, I just told her that she was a strong person for realizing that she needed help and to admit herself. She seemed fairly relieved that I said that.
After the playgroup I went up to the birthing floor to see a friend of mine who just had a baby. Of course, Harper and I were the stars of the floor because everyone was so happy to see us. I think they all probably still have us pretty fresh in their heads what with my experience and all. And, they actually got to know us a little better because we were there all week. My friend had her C-section on Saturday afternoon and was leaving yesterday afternoon so that's only 3 days for her even post-op. Her baby is so tiny. He weighed in at 4lbs 9oz! He was early because he stopped growing so they needed to get him on out of there. When I picked him up I almost threw him he was so tiny! I am noticing now how much Harper has really grown as I slog her around like my little sack of potatoes. I weighed her at the playgroup yesterday and the scale read 11lbs 12oz (with the clothes on). I think that scale weighs a little heavy but I'm still figuring her at about 11 1/2lbs!
After going to my mom's in the afternoon I dared to take Harper with me on her first foray to the grocery store since my meltdown taking her before. She was pretty much perfect! She started melting down right near the end when we were checking out but by that time, I knew I was safe. She was pretty taken with all the people/hubbub/bright lights and I played smiley games with her to keep her happy and smiling at me. Of course, I only needed to get some necessities but it was nice to know I could take her out like that and everything would be ok.
So our holiday weekend was pretty much a bust. I was in a crappy mood to begin with and SO tired. When I put Harper down to sleep the first half of the night, before she nurses, is great. Then, after I put her down again she goes back to sleep and the grunting begins. She grunts like crazy! Of course, Brad sleeps right through it but I am so attuned to her every noise that I lie awake listening to her not able to sleep myself. Saturday night I got three hours of sleep! After I got up to nurse her, I never went back to sleep because she was in there grunting. Finally Brad convinced me to put in earplugs after I get up the to nurse her and that's been working pretty well. This way, I don't hear the grunting and he wakes up if she gets to crying and then he can alert me. Of course, last night I was completely terrified that I wouldn't hear her and she would be tangled up in her swaddling blanket and choking and Brad wouldn't hear. I know, I'm crazy. Anyway, because I hadn't figured out the earplug trick yet, I didn't get much sleep over the weekend and so our weekend was pretty crappy. My mom did come out and cook up a bunch of stuff for us and I am SO grateful for that because I still can't get to cooking. She also pretty much forced us to go out on Saturday night to see our local fireworks but we got there and sat and sat and sat and they finally started them at 9:45 and I was so damn tired that I made Brad leave at 9:50 so I could maybe be in bed before 10:15. Needless to say we saw about 5 shots and then left. Woo woo.
Sunday we actually had a few things we needed to go to and I was dreading being tired but I dragged myself up and out anyway. First stop was a 2yr old's bday party. It was ok but it was boiling hot and they didn't have their A/C on and there were tons of people in the house. We wound up outside with some friends but it was damn hot out there too so we were all sweating and Harper started wilting pretty fast. The bday boy doesn't even talk yet! Yikes! I think it's because his every need is catered to simply by grunting and pointing. Not good. Once we left we headed over to Brad's mom's because Brad's brother was down with his wife and kids for a visit. It was the first time in YEARS that I have seen them but I made up my mind not to be a total bitch (I am getting soft since becoming a mother) and I just pretended like everything was fine. It actually went really well and I know Brad was pretty happy because he really misses his old relationship with his brother. We'll see.....
Monday was our anniversary and I was, once again, in a piss poor mood. First off, Brad forgot! When he left for work I had to ask him if there was something he wanted to say to me. To his credit, he did remember then right away and profusely apologized but I am a woman and so I was still ticked off. Later he called and said he got Sarah to babysit and did I want to go out for dinner? I said no! Yes, forget what I said about getting soft, I am still a bitch! I said that it seemed shallow and forced and I really wasn't interested at this point and that maybe next year we could actually plan something (planning!? oh the horror!). So, we stayed home and I was pissy all evening. I pretty much hated everything at that point...mostly myself.
And that, dear readers, is my story.
I will try to update as I can but man, it is hard!!
Keep the posts coming from you all, though, as I love to read them when I have a minute!
